I was gonna do a post about the departed commish and the government and JCF….. but after my recent experience with crime I think I may come across harsher and more biased than I prefer.

Monday November 2, 2009, we left for work about 7:30am. I returned 7:30pm to see splinters of wood at my front door. Then I noticed the door jam dug out and then the destroyed/warped keyhole, then the unlocked door.

Next step, look at the grill on the inside of the door, because if they breeched that then I know that I was robbed. So I tried to avoid contaminating the crime scene and pulled the door open by its edge. The grill was not breeched. THANK GOD!!!!!

I then called my landlady and she came and took a look. Tried to get through the nearest police station via telephone. Mission Impossible. So I took a drive down. Only had to wait 30min then they followed me to the house. Looked at….. and I mean looked at, the damage and informed me that a team would come in the morning to do the forensics.  They also offered pointers to make the premises more secure.

I am not as angry as I thought I would be but I am angrier than I would like to be. Nothing missing but they compromised my house and my sense of security.

How much security can I put in….. do I have to put in to feel safe again? So when I am locked in so tight they won’t try to break in, they’ll just wait for me to get in and hold me up on the way in because of all the security I have to get through.

No more false sense of security. That sucks!!!!

In addition I have been avoiding using the remote key entry on the car and some weeks ago I heard that they are now able to lock on to your frequency and gain entry to your vehicle once you have walked away.

The problem is that the criminals don’t make appointments so you don’t know when they are coming. How can you be on your guard all the time? How can you adequately balance securing your person and property without becoming a prisoner?

God knows!!!!

My cousin Michael Dixon went to Costa Rica on the 18/10/09. He was last seen on 19/10/09 in the morning, heading out on the beach with a hotel beach towel at Villas Macondo in Playa Tamarindo Costa Rica.

A Facebook page has been setup Help find Michael Dixon. Please join and help spread the word.

There are a few videos on you tube with pictures of him and relevant information about whom to contact if you have information.

Thank you in advance.

Dude!!……… or should I say dudette, what’s with the man blouse?  Couldn’t find a pic that I would be caught dead publicizing on my site!  But its called an EROS VENEZIANI BAR SQUARE NECK TANK TOP T SHIRT!!!  A blouse dang it!!!!!

I realise that many of our youth today are growing up without proper male role models and so they may be taking on female characteristics, but it has become absolutely ridiculous now and I know its really still early in the game…… a frightening thought.

Its not a new phenomena mind you.  In the 50s, 60s, men started perming their hair and having it up in tie head and bandoos (sp).  In the 80s we did the spandex debacle (shudder).  We then did piercings which got way crazy by the time you hit the 90s, with ppl piercing their genitalia.  Come on dude, that why they invented ribbed condoms and sex toys.  How did you rationalise your lack of fortitude to mutilation?

Then I noticed some tight shirt things creeping in as style along with tight pants.  Then the pants them start deh a man knee like him preparing for some quick back passage exploration.  No rasta, there is a reason why we have zipper in the front.  Pants at knee and ankle is inviting the wrong type of adoration.

Then di other day mi nearly run up pon di sidewalk after mi si what i thought was an oddly shaped woman in low ride jeans with boxers showing and with a thong showing riding up to …… I didn’t even realise that wedgies had become fashionable.  Then she had dreads pulled back in a scrunchy, showing off her long lashes… but the face looked tough.  Then she had on a blouse but her chest was flat.  It’s then I realised that she was not a she but some rear admiral.  FIAH RASTA!!!    A bate him a come bate mi!!!!

Is it any wonder we have no money and the country is screwed. How di backside you can spend 60M to renovate a house?! Di man weh vacate it never did a live in squalor, so how yu a seh dat you had to spend so much because you cant live in squalor?

So you couldn’t look at our busted budget and decide that you would stay in your owna house and collect the housing maintenance instead of spending 60M?!

Why not pay off some of those local bad debts to nurses, teachers, police, fire dept, correctional officers, etc… instead of wasting it on building yourself a mansion that benefits just you!?

This government want me to draw my belt tight, fore go my pay increase which doesn’t keep ahead of inflation, start fi grow weh mi want to eat because me certainly soon can’t afford it at supermarket, while dem a squandor mi tax dollars! For every $10 I make they take $3.33 in income tax, then they take $1.65 in GCT. What dat look like to you? Me get lef wid $5.02!

Dem tek half mi money, cut me no slack and then squander mi taxes…… yow, dem can ………smooch my pigmented patootie!!!!

Dem better luv up dis term of office cause it soon done!!!

Selah!!!!!

I’ve always hated any grade below a B. To see Jamdown getting a triple C is annoying, even if it come wid a plus(+). Anyway, our government officials saying that the S&P ppl never look at the recent strides we made. Ok, so if they didn’t, they are looking at the Jamaica they saw at the time when they collected their info. So even if we improved, we still had a lower grade at some point!!

Is it that we didn’t want to be graded at that time and wanted them to redo their report now that we made some strides? That would be fantastic but not realistic. Can I sit my exam the following day when I am more prepared instead of on the day they have it scheduled? If I don’t want a good rogering then I can’t be caught with my pants down!!

Then 1/3rd said that he didn’t need to be at the meeting with the IMF officials because it was just preliminary discussions, feeling out the situation. So why are they here evaluating us and making public pronouncements that it will be hard on Jamaica?! That don’t sound like preliminary discussions!

Maybe I am the idiot he takes me for! There can be no other explanation!!

Yow wid mi owna two yeye!! I just saw the first lady of Ja come into the National Arena with her husband and then she walk past the greeting party of Kissyfur-Babsy. Them run go call her back fi join back di line and she come back and stand there refusing to engage Babsy. Finally she walk past her as she was led to her seat. Pon big big tv at big big national function!! Dat bad man. Slackness! Dem couldn’t dash weh di pettiness fi just 2 minutes? Dat no right star!!

I recall when I lived in the states, very briefly, that summer school was punishment for those who did not do what they were supposed to do during the school year.  It was a time of shame, because while you are on the bus to summer school you saw classmates on their way to summer camp.  Them going on trips and pool picnics and you just grudging them.

When I came back to Jamaica, summer school was fashion…. it was used by parents to dump kids for 3 weeks out of summer.  It was also supposed to introduce kids to the next year’s curriculum.  I was so annoyed at being sent because I still thought it a walk of shame.  Eventually I accepted that I was being sent to stall the inevitable summer agony of kids at home to get in trouble… and trouble I used to get into!!

Today was paeds day at Edna Manley H/C where I am now stationed (KPH didn’t fight for me… I am so sad).  I saw child after child who’s parent was worried that they might have H1N1.  The other half of the kids I saw were there for medicals to attend school in September and some were there for medicals to attend summer school…….

WHAT??!  Why the hell do you need a medical to attend summer school?  It’s not that important!!!!  What’s worse is that I am there filling in forms for 3 yr olds to attend pre kindergarten summer school.  PRE-KINDERGARTEN summer school!!!  I had to be commenting on their vision and ears and heart and then one school wanted me to comment on their lymphocytic system and their haematopoetic system!  Did they really expect me to send in a blood film to make sure that the 3 year olds didn’t have rouleaux formation?!

RUBBISH!!! RIDICULOUS!!!  Absolutely ridiculous!  So if I say that a kid has no ear problems, he goes home and sticks a crayon in his ear and gets an ear infection before the 1st day of summer school… did i lie?  What about the list for summer school?  I noticed that 3 year olds were to have scissors.  I asked the parent if she had looked at the list and saw the scissors.  She said that clearly the teacher would be keeping all the scissors until it was time for the children to use them.  I looked at her and then looked back at the form and completed it.  I have pre-filled in the referral form to Opthalmology for that kid cause some kid going to jook out im yeye and she goin come and bawl and bitch how di teacha careliss and wukliss cause shi neva si seh di pickney dem neva did a use di scissas prapa (someone may poke him in the eye, and she will cry and complain that the teacher was careless for not adequately supervising).  Me nah look pon har one backside( I shant poop in her direction)!!!

Anyway, mi no inna no more talkin.

Selah!!!

As a middle child I always felt like the odd one out.  My older bro was always looking out for my younger brother and we were always fighting.  Then my parents weren’t doing too well and I was always trying to look out for and protect my mom.  That put me up against my father who in turn was very distant with me and I guess I stayed away from him.    I didn’t have enough escapism to do the imaginary friend story and regular kids my age just didn’t see and understand the reality I was facing at home which made me feel worse alone.

I spent my time with books and music.  I would play around with pop’s Marty Robbins balads albums and with mom’s Ann Murray crooner albums.  Then my parents separated, my older brother got boarded out, and we moved to NY where my mom was doing her Master’s.  Pops would visit but he was still distant with me.

In 1983 I discovered MJ’s Thriller album at my aunt’s house.  When you have abandonment issues, anyone who says anything that sounds as if they care for you, you tend to latch on to.  The lyrics were on the sleeve so it was easy to sing along and eventually learn them.  Wanting to be starting something and Beat it helped me to express my angst.  Baby be mine started telling me about love.  I didn’t have anyone (I was 8 yrs old) but it started shaping how I looked at things.  I recognized that one day I’d be feeling that way and so it became the blue print for how I was supposed to feel. Being the introvert I figured that I was the lover not the fighter in The Girl is mine.  I suspect that I just wanted to feel as if I mattered.  I identified with the emotion not the object.

I remember sitting and listening to the lyrics with tears in my eyes as I wondered why my father didn’t love me.  Even though everybody else was showering me with love I was still pining after him.

MJ understood me.  He was talking to me.  When his hair caught fire I was depressed.  When I noticed that his pigmentation was changing I got confused.  But he still spoke to me through his music.  My fan letter was unanswered and I figured he didn’t have enough time to answer all the letters he got anyway.  I used to pray for him at church.  I got pissed with the media for hounding him and calling him all sorts of terrible names and spreading lies about him.

BAD was my album.  I didn’t get a copy until years later, but I taped whichever song was played on radio and was able to listen to it on my little robot who had an embedded cassette player.  Robie Sr. was a star!!

I couldn’t figure out what the hell was being said by the girl in Liberian Girl.  That didn’t stop me from belting out the song at the top of my voice anytime I heard it.  Bad was my courage filler after having the snot beat out of me in high school. Just leave me alone was another voice for my internal issues.

I bought the book Moonwalker and watched the movie to rhaatid!  By that time I realised he was the greatest performer ever but like Prince should stay away from the feature film business.  I was growing up but he wasn’t and by that time I think I had passed his age.  The peter pan behaviour was getting to me now and I couldn’t understand why he would keep putting himself in sitations that made it seem as if unsavoury things were happening.

When Dangerous dropped I had strayed from MJ as much as he had strayed from the path I thought he ought to have trod.  I still loved his music but since I couldn’t fight all his detractors, I abandoned him instead.  That way I protected my memories of him, when he inspired me to believe in myself and gave voice to emotions that I had no idea how to express.  I played the Dangerous album so much that it started to skip (I didn’t even know that could happen to a CD!)

I stopped looking at him physically because I couldn’t stand the changes.  He was giving ppl reasons to make fun of him and I hated that.  He had graduated from eccentric to grotesque.

I still bought HIStory and Blood on the Dance floor.  I had thought the Man in the mirror video was depressing, but Earth song killed me.  Just reminded me that human beings were the worst thing that could have happened to this planet.  God should have placed us on one planet and the rest of  creation on another and watch them flourish… see the absolute beauty that is nature without the likes of us @&$# it up!!!  I’m no exception.

Invincible and I didn’t mesh.  I’m not the consumate MJ fan.  I actually dislike some of his work.  That album did nothing for me.  It had a few songs on it but the image was just not right somehow.  At least it returned to the proper pattern of album naming ( Thriller, Bad, Dangerous, Invicible,…)

I was looking forward to the upcoming concert series because I wanted to see him redeem himself and show the world that he still had one last fight in him.  The last thing out of him would have been the greatest come back/reminder.  Alas he didn’t make it.  I was at work when the news dropped and I glimpsed it on the telly.  Speechless was an understatment!  I carried on with my work and over the next few days I was doing quite well.  But the more I saw the reports and tributes the angrier I got!  They kept showing the recent photos of him!  Why?  When someone dies we use the pictures of how we want to remember them, not the ones of them at their worst!

I watched what I could until I broke down and cried. He didn’t get to redeem himself. Shoot, how is he with God?  My kids will never know him the way I knew him.  But his music will live on!  Who else can bring together such a motley crew of fans the way MJ did worldwide?!

I loved him and I will miss him.  I can’t say he is Gone too soon because we all have our unalterable appointment with death.  Let us learn from what he said: Take better care of our planet and of our children, love each other, respect each other, make life more tolerable for all, inspire who we can in our little corner of the world, and remember him for the great talent he shared with us all.

Selah!!

I’m  usually a loyal person, but my loyalties tend to extend to a sense of honour and not necessarily the person.  It tends to dictate how I act.  Most times I appear to be loyal to my friends but if something comes up and I think they are in the wrong, I’m holding out for the right.  I may decide to keep quiet rather than chastise, but right is right.

 

Sometimes I do give in for the friends and sometimes I get accused of being cold and disloyal.  I manage all in stride.

 

As a medical health care proffesional, I am approached to do many things.  Some appear simple and reasonable enough, but when you disesct it you find yourself treading on really weird grounds.  ”Doc write the prescription in this name so I can get it cheaper… otherwise I won’t be able to afford it and I can’t take it”.  Those instances feel like blackmail.  I prescribe because I see the need and I want you to get better.  Which is the better option…. acceeding to the request and commit fraud or say no and the patient remains untreated?  Simple decision for some, difficult for me.  Sometimes I do, other times I don’t.  Although I may try to justify it to myself, there is no mystery about it.  It is fraud whenever it happens.  Thankfully it isn’t something i have to deal with often because I am not in private practice much.

 

However, the government system is fraught with fraud as well.  Even your own colleagues ask you to re-write a prescription on the government prescription pad so that they can get it free, despite being able to afford it since they did afford to go to the private doctor in the first place.  That one gets me all the time.  I haven’t declined anyone who has asked to date, but I try to avoid them when I know they are looking for that sort of favour.  I still fill mine at the regular pharmacies and pay the full cost because the government doesn’t give me insurance, and the insurance people only want to sell me life insurance not health insurance.

 

Don’t get me wrong, medications are expensive no hell!!  But I can’t bring myself to add to the stain of sin on my soul with committing further fraud where I will benefit.  I hope to figure out how to appraoch this problem sometime soon.

 

Anyway, oonu pray fi mi till then…. and beyond!

Gentle folks…. I’ve decided to move to wordpress. Blogger not offering me enough templates and I am once again haunted and want to change it.  Because they introduced widgets, I lose too much when I use an outside template.  Don’t have the time to wade through the code, so the easiest thing is to move over to a provider who will give me choices.  Don’t plan to close this blog but want to see my blog in better/ different colours.

So I’ll be at       http://bashmentbasses.wordpress.com/  .  I am importing my posts and comments there as well.

Talk about carrying around baggage!

Later.